Link: An Owner's Manual
by Soshite
Summary: Congratulations dear customer! You have just bought the Hero of Time as seen in the Ocarina of Time! Here in this nifty manual will be all the tips you'll need to keep your Bearer of Courage, happy, safe, healthy and stress free.


Congratulations, O Wonderful Customer!

If you are reading this, then that means you have just purchased our latest model from the Legend of Zelda line—the LINK (ver 2.0) unit, from the lovely manufacturers of the Hyrule Company who gave you products such as the GANONDORF DRAGMIRE (1.0) unit. Please carefully read through this guide thoroughly as it will give you plenty of tips on how to properly care for your LINK unit.

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Link

Location of Manufacture: Hyrule

Type: Hero

Height: 5'7"

Weight: About 150 lbs. He's a lightweight he is.

Length: When approached for measurement, he ran away as fas as he could go.

Level of Skill: The LINK (ver 2.0) unit's skill varies and depends highly upon the cunning and intelligence of its owner. It could be terribly crafty (especially with puzzles), or depressingly useless (especially with puzzles that hide death traps).

Occupation: Hero of Time

**Your LINK (ver 2.0) comes with the following accessories:**

One regular green tunic with matching belts.

One red tunic, which can apparently allow your LINK unit to visit areas with intense heat.

(**Warning: **_Wearing this yourself and heading into volcanic spots is not advisable as this accessory only works for the LINK unit._)

One blue tunic, which allows its wearer to breathe under water.

(**Warning:** _Please read the explanation above for the red tunic, but replace 'volcanic' with underwater and 'intense heat' with intense wet. Yes, we are highly aware of how dirty that sounds._)

One Ocarina of Time.

One Hylian Shield.

One Master Sword.

The Triforce of Courage (Golden Ocarina of Time edition), is sold separately.

Others accessories such as the Hookshot, Mirror Shield, Red Potion, Bombs, Boomerang, Fishing Rod etc. can be purchased separately in our catalogue.

**NOTE: **_Normally, the _LINK (ver 2.0) unit_ comes bundled with another unit. The _NAVI (1.0) unit_ has been discontinued since 2000 after we polled 1000 random customers about the unit and 999 out of 1000 customers agree that the _NAVI (1.0) unit had to go. W_e apologize for any inconveniences this may cause for you. Our catalogue has a wide variety of other units in the Companion line-up you may choose from, free of charge._

**Installation:**

Your new LINK (ver 2.0) unit will primarily be shut down and won't be able to operate on its own, until you open the box and shine some light on it. Should you open the box containing your unit in an unlit room, it will not start to boot up and might malfunction as a result. Upon the first rays of light that touches it, you will be given the delight of watching the LINK (ver 2.0) unit slowly awaken. Be advised to be at least two meters away, as your new unit will be confused and disoriented still. Give it a few minutes to allow it to gain its bearings.

The LINK (2.0) unit is quite friendly and will not harm its new master and friend, although it might be wary of you at first. Give your unit some more time to adjust to your presence (approx. 30 minutes of inspecting you) and it will eventually warm up to you.

**Alternate Method of Installation:** _Pretend to be a damsel in distress and scream for help, the _LINK (ver 2.0) unit_ will respond immediately, but you will risk locking it eternally into _Save the World mode_, which is both endearing and very annoying at the same time. Prepare to have all of your flower pots smashed and raided and all burly, dark skinned men attacked on sight._

**Note:** _Your _LINK (ver 2.0) unit_ will still break all the pots in your house, regardless if he has been put into _Save the World mode_, or not._

**Your LINK (ver 2.0) has eight different modes:**

Hero (Default mode)

Problem Solver

Musician

Personal Trainer

Child

OOC (Level 10 Lock)

Shadow Link (Level 11 Lock)

Save the World( Level 12 Lock)

**Note:** _The only way to unlock _OOC mode_, is for you to buy a special Fanfiction license from our sister company, by calling them at our toll free number _1-800-O-HYRULE_. Do this only when you want your unit's personality utterly bastardized._

**Addendum I:** Save the World mode_ can only be activated if the LINK (ver 2.0) unit's owner is in mortal danger; a _ZELDA unit_ is in danger; the world is in danger; a _GANONDORF DRAGMIRE (ver 1.0) unit_ has actually reached level 11 lockdown and is about to destroy the world._

**Addendum II:** _The secret mode_, Shadow Link mode _has yet to be unlocked by anyone, but many of our researchers speculate that you must mistreat your _LINK (ver 2.0) unit_ extensively to activate this mode. While interesting and a change of pace, it is unwise to do so and might result in your unit remaining permanently in this mode. If that is your intent, then we are not liable for any injuries you may suffer at the hands of the _SHADOW LINK unit_._

**Interactions with other units:**

Princess Zelda – Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit will be most courteous to the PRINCESS ZELDA unit and be very knightly and courageous within her presence. It is highly advised that, if you purchase this model to be your LINK (ver 2.0) unit's playmate, that it should be kept safe and out of harm's way. Should your PRINCESS ZELDA unit ever come across a GANONDORF DRAGMIRE unit, well, say good-bye to your LINK (2.0) unit's sanity and safety. And your flower pots.

Ganondorf Dragmire – Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit will harbour very antagonistic behaviour towards this unit and will feel threatened by its presence (unless in OOC mode). This unit will act amused by your unit's futile attempts at offing it with whatever weapon he can find, but will soon find him troublesome and annoying and will actively try to destroy your LINK (ver 2.0) unit with a series of dungeons, monsters and traps. We suggest never allowing your LINK (ver 2.0) unit to ever meet a GANONDORF DRAGMIRE unit. Ever.

Saria – Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit is very fond of this cute little Kokiri unit and is most compatible as a playmate for your model, especially when you have set your LINK (ver 2.0) unit into Child mode. These two will frolic and play together in isolated forests and be every Pedobear's dream come true. The SARIA unit is one of the few musically inclined units in our Ocarina of Time series and will be more than willing to play duets with your LINK (ver 2.0) in Child or Hero mode.

Deku Tree – A sage advisor, a wonderful father figure and giver of oxygen, this unit is the largest in our series and is recommended only to owners with large properties. This giant tree is seen as a father figure for your unit...right until it becomes infested with evil termites of doom. In which case, you can simply chop it all down and use the Deku Tree as firewood for the winter and tell your LINK (ver 2.0) unit that it went on holiday. Permanently.

Ruto – This unit will do anything to make sure that it marries your LINK (ver 2.0) unit. Whether it's to give away the most precious treasure of the Zora to secure him as her fiancé. And then get hitched and have some Zora babies. How is it biologically possible, we are not sure, but if you somehow get fish babies, give us a ring. However, the chances of this happening are very slim as your LINK (ver 2.0) unit will run away as fast as he can from this unit whenever the topic of marriage is mentioned by the RUTO unit.

Nabooru – While they do not know each other that well, your LINK (ver 2.0) unit will be polite and friendly to this unit, when it is not set in Brainwashed Mode. In all likelihood, these two units will go to a milk bar together and have drinking contests and arm wrestle like best guy friends. Your unit might show a slight interest in this particular unit, since she is the most mature looking female it knows, but the interest will only be slight.

Malon – This unit will mercilessly tease your LINK (ver 2.0) unit, calling him a 'fairy boy' all the time and generally poking fun at his strange garb, until he proves himself a hero in her eyes. Otherwise, the MALON unit will get along just fine with your LINK (ver 2.0) unit and may even nourish and care for your model without asking anything in return. Your unit will grow to adore the MALON unit and there is a 50 percent chance of the two of them could get hitched, if none of the other female units are present in your LINK (ver 2.0) unit's life.

**Cleaning your LINK (ver 2.0) unit:**

Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit is very capable of cleaning itself when neccessary, which translates to quite often when it has access to a working shower or bathtub. Your unit has a habit of crawling through dirty, dank dungeons that no one has entered (or cleaned) in hundreds of years; fighting against creatures that tend to explode and splatter their guts once defeated; get dry humped by various undead creatures that should not be allowed to exist;etc, etc. We suggest keeping your unit supplied with very good body soap and shampoo, as well as having a sewing kit handy in case his tunic gets torn.

**Note:** _Your_ LINK (ver 2.0) unit _is not accomplished at sewing and will most likely sew his own glove to his hand if not supervised. Please handle any endeavors to mend any of his tunics yourself or hire a professional tailor to fix them._

**F.A.Q. Frequently Asked Questions:**

**Q: **My LINK (ver 2.0) unit won't speak to me. I haven't offended it in any way and have been treating it very nicely and everything, but he won't say a word to me. What do I do?

**A:** Oh, don't worry. This is normal for all LINK units in all series. Besides a series of grunts and sounds of pain and a few battle cries, your unit is incapable of actual speech. However, if you wish to communicate with your unit, we suggest buying the Link-English Dictionary as it is integral in properly understanding the wants and needs of your LINK (ver 2.0) unit, if you haven't already bought one.

**Q:** My LINK (ver 2.0) unit won't sleep in the house. Instead, he always sneaks out of the house at night to go sleep in a hollow tree. Why is this?

**A:** All his life, your LINK (ver 2.0) unit has always believed that he was one of the Kokiri and was raised living in a forest setting. In all likeliness he is a lot more comfortable sleeping in a tree, rather than a bed inside a house. Let it slide and, eventually, your unit will warm up to the idea of sleeping in a warm bed udner a roof that doesn't leak. Or have squirrels in it.

**Q:** My LINK (ver 2.0) is dressed in a bright purple fur coat, is sporting all kinds of gaudy golden jewelry, is now going by the name of L-Dawg and is constantly surrounded by women. Lots of women. What's going on?

**A:** Somehow, your LINK (ver 2.0) unit has bypassed the first ten levels of lockdown and has gone into OOC mode. To rectify this, we suggest arranging a play date between himself and a DEKU TREE unit to straighten things out. When that doesn't work, try throwing your unit into the nearest lake and see what happens.

**Q:** My LINK (ver 2.0) unit is acting crazy and, according to the Link-English Dictionary, he's ranting about how a moon with a giant, creepy face is going to fall down on us all in three days. What do I do?

**A:** Somehow, your LINK (ver 2.0) unit was swapped with an experimental LINK (ver 2.5) unit that carries both the Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask timelines in its programming. Depending on how you've been treating your unit or the series of events that followed your model's first boot-up, your unit will follow the timeline for either Ocarina of Time or Majora's Mask's timeline. You may return the unit to us for a full refund or an exchange. That, or invest in an underground bomb shelter.

**Troubleshooting:**

**Problem:** Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit looks fatigued all the time and there's this strange beeping sound that follows him wherever he goes.

**Answer:** Your unit is low on health. Feed him some milk and he'll be up and at 'em again in no time at all.

**Problem:** Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit won't do anything, but fish all day.

**Answer:** You bought the Fishing Rod accessory. You deal with the consequences.

**Problem:** Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit has died.

**Answer:** You obviously forgot to equip your unit with a Red Fairy accessory. It is clearly stated that the warrantee is voided once a LINK is dead, through forgetfulness or stupidity. Or both. It is not our fault if you forgot (or were too cheap) to give your LINK (ver 2.0) unit a bottle with a Red Fairy inside of it.

**Ending Notes:**

Your LINK (ver 2.0) unit comes with a limited seven-year warranty and to extend it, you must buy the Great Fairy Insurance pack from our catalogue. We will provide tech support for your unit twenty-four hours, five days a week, excluding bank holidays and Chinese New Year. Your warranty covers damages caused by external forces such as monster attacks, attacks from Kings of Evil and those thereof. We do not cover any damages caused by courriers and the owner's own irresponsibility. If you feel that you must return or exchange your unit, knock out your LINK (ver 2.0) unit with a Megaton Hammer and stuff it into a garbage bag and ship it to us; your refund/exchange will be exacted within 72 hours.

We of the Hyrule Company wish you fun and excitment galore with your new LINK (ver 2.0) unit from our Ocarina of Time series and heartilly thank you for purchasing the LINK (ver 2.0) unit from us.

Have a nice day.

* * *

A Link Manual for everyone that requested it. XD Enjoy.

What next? Working on Twilight Princess Ganondorf Manual now. XD Lets see how that one turns out...


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